When Duct Tape Gives Out

Like all resourceful people, we have a stash of duct tape on hand. I’ve used it to color code boxes for a move (thanks, Pinterest!), and then all the general “repair” one does with a trusty roll of duct tape. My husband has become pretty artistic with the repairs. Our car is currently held together in two separate places by duct tape. Thanks to my husband’s latent creative side you can’t even tell when looking at it from a short distance. He uses white and black to mimic the colors of the driver’s side mirror, and black over the back-tire wheel. We keep a roll of the black duct tape in the back of the car in case we need to make any touch ups while we are out.

Which we inevitably do. Duct tape holds really well until it doesn’t. There comes a point where it can’t keep up with the wind, the heat, the rain, the weight. So it starts to flap around and the body work starts to get loose again. Then we go through the routine of taping it back up once more.

It became a little comical and only slightly annoying for what it seemed to be “saving” us. Then something hit our window while we were driving on the highway and the glass shattered everywhere. Our oldest daughter was two at the time, and it was her window that was hit. She was in her car seat. It was scary (obviously), but thankfully she wasn’t hurt. We were about six hours from home on our way back from vacation. We had to turn to some thick plastic and more tape to get us the rest of the way. No amount of artistry would make that arrangement livable. It was loud, hard to see through, and wouldn’t hold up in the weather. It was also a constant reminder to our daughter of the scary thing she endured. We got the window fixed the next day, but for a short time our car was held together in three

places by duct tape. As much as I love duct tape, that amount will give a girl pause.

I started wondering if there were other places in my life where temporary fixes became permanent solutions. What had served me well or even just got me by but was never meant to be a long-term fix? Couldn’t be a long-term fix? There are seasons and circumstances in life that do not give us the energy, time or resources to invest in anything other than temporary stop-gap measures. But it can be very easy to move out of those seasons and let the temporary become permanent. When we try to put permanent weight on that which is only meant for the temporary, we suffer the consequences.

The other danger is that when we lose the stability of good, life-giving practices and rhythms and instead rely on temporary quick fixes we open ourselves up to danger. When our needs show up with greater frequency (a by-product of using temporary solutions), we can end up creating cycles of dependence or start reaching for more unhealthy options to bring about a result more quickly. A recent example from my own life might illustrate what I mean: at the beginning of lock-down I bought an energy drink on a big shopping trip because I felt too tired to finish without it. It worked. I bought more in case I found myself in the same situation again. (Reader: I have a one year old and a three-year-old and we decided to stay home for the foreseeable future—I found myself in the same situation again. And again. And…you get the idea.) Do I want to live off energy drinks? No. Do I think it is healthy? No. Is it easy? Yes. Do I have to take other steps if I want to quit using energy drinks as a crutch? Yes.

Perhaps energy drinks don’t fall on your “to be concerned about” list, so what would? What draws you in a way that brings about your dis-ease rather than wholeness? Relying on these things that bring dis-ease can have unforeseen consequences. Miroslav Volf says this, “’How can it be wrong when it feels so right!?’ If all isn’t right with us, if we aren’t right, then what feels right may well be quite wrong.”

Maybe you’re unconvinced? Then what about the inverse of that question: what brings about your wholeness and health? Are you able to give your time, energy, attention to those things? Why or why not?

When covid-19 first started showing up in our area (mid-March), I was ready to hunker down, tackle all the things (Spanish! Writing! Baking! Exercising! Reading! Decluttering my entire life! All while staying totally connected with the unfolding news of covid, the world, and entertaining my children…............). It didn’t happen. Soon, wise voices started reminding us that this is all strange, stressful, “unprecedented” and we should give ourselves grace. Amen. It was the reminder I needed. I drank an energy drink without guilt while I hit “ignore” on my Duolingo reminder. But now I’m ready to acknowledge that the “unprecedented” is really liminal space. A time of disruption, change, transition when there has been a clear break from the past but the future has not yet come into view. (There is a sermon manuscript here where I talk more about liminal spaces if you are interested.) I do not know how long this liminal space will last, but I’m planning on it being longer than I would like. So it is time for my quick fixes to give way to more solid, life giving, sustainable practices. What about you?